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This is the main essay I sent out in my application to Columbia. It's nothing fancy - just about a kid named Harry and what knowing him meant to me.
>>>> A Friend Named Harry One person I will not forget when I leave high school is a friend who has helped me to raise self-awareness and to strive towards self-improvement. Harry and I were never best friends or the kind of friends who always did things together. Harry was a reserved, instrument-playing student who wasn't very sociable and, in his own words, "never became too attached to anyone." I, on the other hand, demanded much loyalty from my closest friends and gave them mine as I cherished a tightly knit group. One would never expect a football player to be influenced so much by a clarinet player, but it was an odd friendship that changed me a great deal. Growing up with two older sisters, Harry had an effeminate quality to him that some of his peers mocked. He was never interested in the guy-oriented action movies or the muscle frenzy that landed many boys in the weight room pumping iron. Instead, he chose to watch low budget independent movies or draw pictures of tall, pretty girls clad in fashionable clothes. We became friends through our academic likeness. Harry and I were almost dead even in terms of grades and we often found each other competing in the same classes. As we conversed more with each other, we found out that we had some key things in common: our parents worked in New York City, we both enjoyed going there on weekends, Banana Republic was the clothing store of our choice, and each spring, we cheered for the Knicks to win in the playoffs. Harry's interests also rubbed off on me as I found myself watching more independent films and television shows such as Ally McBeal and Friends. Harry was always pleasant company during school and many times, we spent entire periods sharing our knowledge and interests. As we both learned more about each other, I found one trait of his that affected me the most: his bluntness. Harry was never slow to tell me what was on his mind. If he found me bragging about myself, he would quickly note how self-absorbed I was and admonished me for it. "Gosh Peter, there you go again. Always talking about yourself." If I interrupted him while he was talking with someone else, he naturally responded, "I don't remember talking to you." He also replied to any irrelevant comments I made by saying, "I don't care," with sharp indifference. Surely things he said came off as obnoxious to me at first, and the only thing I ever made fun of him about was his nasal voice, which I learned to imitate very well. But Harry was never shy to tell me what I lacked or did wrong and he totally disregarded my pride. I once told him I would like a girlfriend who was tall, very thin and had a perfect face; his response: "You are so superficial. Are looks the only things that matter?" I wasn't always quick to make his criticism into lessons learned. Instead, I was often angered at comments that pricked my pride. Gradually, I realized my need to become less of a flawed person. I became more polite and modest and began to include a beautiful personality in my girl search. I eventually became very used to Harry's bluntness. One time, his sister drove both of us back home from the park and heard Harry's critical comments. Later on, Harry told me his sister had asked why he was so obnoxious to me and he answered, "Don't worry, Peter is thick-skinned; he won't mind." I usually saw myself as a sensitive person, but I guess being around Harry had made me tougher in dealing with criticism. Harry's bluntness was not always critical. A compliment I cherish the most to this day came from him. It was after we had completed our English project. The project had taken around 8 hours and we were exhausted. Our product was fabulous and we were both proud. Harry then told me outright, "You know, people told me that you only got good grades because you could memorize things well, but I guess they were wrong. You're really good at this project sort of thing and I had fun working with you." I often joked with Harry about being one of his "top five friends," a subject that often made him roll his eyes or laugh. One day, his bluntness confirmed our friendship: "Even though I find you really annoying sometimes, we have a few things in common and I guess I'll let you be number five." I found Harry to be a unique friend because of his sincerity. He never babbled on or purposely hurt my feelings. His statements were concise yet full of impact. Harry also refused to act obsequiously. My other friends usually gave me words of encouragement and complimented me, but Harry believed that flattery would only enlarge my ego. Harry was never a forceful guide who slapped sense into me, but in a subtle, yet very penetrating way, he helped me to become a better person. |
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