Everyone has their own opinions, but not everyone knows how to express them. This section features three regulars who will express their point of views on issues dealing with Asian Americans along with a new guest for each question. All answers are no longer than a paragraph, so the opinions are condensed. As the reader, decide whose argument compells you the most.
| Question of the Moment as of April 9th, 2002 It is a common stereotype that minorities prefer grouping themselves together when making friends. Is this more than just a stereotype? When it comes to making friends, does race and/or ethnicity play a role? How would you characterize the makeup of your circle of friends and what that might say about you? |
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Minorities favor making friends with those in their group. Interests, language, and personality traits are generally similar across race, so clearly it's more than just a stereotype. I recognize that I probably would have more in common with a Chinese or an Asian, but I try not to let that probability dictate who I become friends with. I try not to, yet I look around me, and the vast majority of my friends are Asian. I'm sure just about everyone claims to be impartial when making friends, but most are, at least on some level, influenced by race and/or ethnicity. | ||
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I used to have a bunch of Jewish friends in elementary school, but then I realized while I could talk to their parents, they could hardly communicate with mine. Not because my parents didn't know English, but they either didn't really care or didn't know what to say. This may be an outlandish idea of mine, but I feel that being a minority is a factor only as long as it affects our parents. If my parents spoke perfect English and were as "American" as any other parents, then I would probably have a bunch of non-Asian friends. Instead, I find myself befriending Koreans, Chinese, and Indians whose parents understand that my parents are like themselves. I don't feel foreign at all when I'm at the houses of my minority friends because their parents may ask about my family's different customs, but at the same time, they'll have to explain why there's a huge elephant statue on the bookshelf. I don't see race, language, or culture as much of a factor in making friends; I've found common ground with Russian friends, who are pale as ghosts but have parents with cool accents and I'm absolutely comfortable with that. So I guess what I'm basically trying to say is - when all of us second generation people become parents and we all speak English to perfection and understand American culture to the fullest, our children can make a bunch of friends who can be of every color of the rainbow and be fine with that. | ||
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There's a small booklet on my desk that I haven't touched since it was left there last week by a girl who'd graduated from my high school the year before me. See, it's emblazoned with "alpha Kappa Delta Phi" in 18-point Arial and, right under that, "Rush 2002". Also known as KDPhi, it's the Asian-American interest sorority on campus. Some strange combination of laziness and guilt has kept me from moving it anywhere, but I know that its imminent destination is the recycle box.
I can see why, for a lot of students around me, such as a neighbor recently arrived from Singapore or one of my roommates, American-born but still heavily involved in classical Indian music and dance, connection with those of their own ethnicity is still so important: they're actually united in interests such as traditional art forms or the transition from one culture to another. Ultimately, though, ethnicity just doesn't cut it for myself as a primary determinant of friendships. While my ethnicity is a part of me that I don't attempt to hide or erase, I think that being a layout geek, playing on the ultimate team, or loving choral music are equally--if not more--prominent components of me upon which to make friends. |
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Living in such a diverse part of New Jersey, it is no surprising sight to see people of same or similar ethnic backgrounds grouping themselves together. I am sure ethnicity does play a modest, if not significant role when people choose their friends. I am not saying that any type of racism occurs here, just that there is a greater tendency to make friends who share your background and culture. I have seen this grouping to be especially predominant in the immigrant population. I have to assume that immigrants feel insecure or at least awkward around Americans (or at least people who don’t share their background), and are drawn to people of their same background, perhaps for a sense of belonging.
When I first came to America, in 1993 my first real friend was an Indian. He is my best friend now, and I can safely say that it was our backgrounds that helped us form that closer bond. But, when it comes to my usual “circle of friends”, I admit that I make an effort to have a diverse group of friends because I feel it is necessary and healthy to foster a diverse circle of friends. I am not sure what that is supposed to say about me, but maybe that’s for my friends to decide. |
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