pk's marvelous summer in progress

5-19-2003
it felt good going to work only a few days after school let out. although the work-study payroll ended last week, we overloaded my work-study timesheet so that i could work an extra two weeks to finish up my bookshelf section in the columbia college today july issue. i think giving myself only a few days - basically an extended weekend's worth - to rest and 'chill' is a good idea because i can keep that feeling of summer freedom fresh and desirable instead of boring and dreadful.

i also think starting this small, low-budget page is a good idea because it gives me a chance to mess around wtih dreamweaver functions before i permanently defect from adobe golive. i realize some people will see this as a xanga-ripoff and call me a sellout for listing my day-to-day activities for everyone to see, but i hope to take tis one level further and make it a daily writing exercise so i can work on my much-needed writing deficiencies.

i was reviewing some books and this one small book interested me. it was a collection of "last words" from famous people. it had all kinds of funny quotes like the witty oscar wilde saying "it's me or the wallpaper, one of us has to go" or karl marx coolly saying "go on, get out. last words are for fools who haven't said enough." if i had to die right now, i wonder what i would say... "LB. i don't want to die..."

i've been disappointed at my grades because of a dismal B- in astronomy, but i got slight redemption from CC - contemporary civilization [the core's rendition of western philosophy]. i went to kent today and took the small, slow-ass elevator up to the 6th floor where my professor [of the religion dept] had our graded finals ready to pick up. i expected the usual - a B or B+ - or on a more optimistic level, one of those B+/A- things i get on really lucky days. instead, i saw a 93 and an 'A' on the test booklet. i was totally taken off-guard and very pleased, but dumbfounded because i was pretty sure i made up half the stuff i said about freud on the test. i went to say hello to my prof and she was very nice, telling me i was a good student this year and that i had scored the highest on the final exam. nice. i felt even better about that one day during reading week when i sat down for six straight hours to read foucault. but of course, one good test isn't going to change the fact that this will be my worst semester gradewise. then again - you know what? i feel like i actually learned some useful things this year and maybe it's not all about the grades anymore.

i end today's entry with a self-realization that needs to be addressed. as much as summer is a time of relaxation and a time for fun, it is a time to re-evaluate and re-invent myself. halfway through college, i need to take a step back from the nonchalant flow and really examine the person i have become and the person i am becoming. am i still petty? am i still immature? am i selfish? yes. all of the above. and when else but summer to tackle these flaws? age is only a number for the time you've been around, but maturity is an ongoing process and a status towards which i still strive.

5-27-2003
it's a sad thing to realize that you have no passion... or that the only passion that you do have is for a game of pick-up basketball with your friends at a nearby park.... well, at least something keeps me happy.

i was just talking about jobs and careers with my mom today and once again talking about how film internships sucked because none of them paid and how i would have to sellout to i-banking or finance if i wanted real dough... and of course there is law school, but that means worrying constantly about my GPA, taking LSATs, and then figuring out how to pay for three more years of schooling... bleh... all for what? so i can look cool driving in my imported German car? (werd, i want a nice black beamer) or so i can afford a home in the suburbs for my family by the time i'm 35? whatever happened to doing what i wanted to do and being happy with what i do? sure, i'll probably take up something and learn to like it, but isn't that just settling for someting and forgoing my true desires?

but then again, i have no passion, so i wouldn't really know what to do anyways.

i used to want to do a lot of things... write a book, open up a restaurant, make a movie, or maybe even own an NFL or NBA team... who knows, it's too soon to tell whether any of those things will happen, but at this particular moment, i feel like doing nothing more than shooting some hoops at the park... the pretty park...

i like the format of this site because i can just drag out these entries and write whatever comes to mind... it makes for some awful reading pieces, and i doubt anyone will actually take the time to read this garbage, but it's kinda like taking pictures... you waste enough rolls taking random shots and you're bound to find a decent picture... i'll keep on writing and writing and i'm bound to write something worthwhile... or not.

how about a girlfriend, pete? yeahhhh.. that's what people love to read about... tell us about it, man.... well, ok... i haven't liked anyone (i swear) for a long while, and anyone i've even slightly considered has been reneged either due to unavailibility or new revelations... are you gay? ok, what the fuck. my sister keeps making fun of me about that... i would think that i would be the last person to turn gay (if homosexuality was a disease, which some argue that it is not... haha just kidding)... but no... i am not gay... how do i know this? well, when i imagine myself being 'happy', i picture myself holding hands with a hot girlfriend and walking together on a perfect spring day in the city at some park... i don't know what's more heterosexual than that (and please don't say 'having sex with the girlfriend' because people can still be gay and have sex with women, kinda like those husbands who have a wife and kids but realize later on that they're gay)... so yeah... holding hands, walking, smiling, nice weather.

6-2-2003
since when did "summer vacation" become harder than school?

harder, as in, more shit i need to get done every night, more stuff to do during the day, and less time spent with my friends... and it's not like i'm making "mad money" either.

ok, that's all i'm going to bitch about. i had a great experience at the columbia college alumni reunion, being able to hang out with more white people than i've done in my entire two years at columbia (novi doesn't count). but actually, i spent most of my with my work study buddy kye, who happens to be only half-white. but the point is, i made good conversation with all kinds of white people, from old couples who drove up from arkansas to the alumni head's 16 year-old son andrew. i got better acquainted with people at the office outside of the magazine staff that i have always been familiar and friendly with, and i also met some recently graduated seniors who worked the weekend. overall, it was a nice time, although i had a hectic schedule running around to act as porter or to set up events. i know that my constant race-consciousness raises eyebrows because many people don't even think of it as an issue... maybe it's an insecurity of mine or maybe race really has had a profound effect on the way i view social interaction. what i was most pleased about this weekend was that i no longer felt like the token asian boy working for and with white people, but just another one of the workers, feeling the same, thinking the same, and being treated the same. good stuff.

the hoching basketball association opened its summer league yesterday at hidden park. i was doubted in the days prior to sunday because weather forecasts predicted rain all day on sunday. for someone who doesn't believe in God and runs a league on a sunday, i certainly had some strong faith. since my senior year of high school, when hba first began, i had similar situations in which rain was predicted but did not come or stopped at the right time. i remember one time two years ago, we played from 12pm to 3pm and it began to rain as soon as we got in the car to leave the park. if there is a higher being, maybe He approves of my league... as my buddy harry puts it, "...it's like church but without the lies." it's pure, it's real, and it brings people together in a positive way. maybe there is some truth to that. oh, and btw, the rain stopped about 30 minutes before the kids came and it gave us enough time to dry the courts. amen.

i remember the summer days after my junior year of high school when warren and i would hit the gym at school four times a week in the morning together. there's always something about being with warren that makes lifting a lot easier. at college, lifting with my less athletic friends makes me feel lazy as i am prone to cut corners and skip harder workouts with them. with warren, a certain discipline sets in and there is a strong desire to finish every single workout. case in point, our recent visits to the new york sports club down rt. 27 has helped me to get back into a relentless state of mind. doing workouts that may not necessarily show the next time i go to the beach, i still feel excited to do them. while warren still has a football career at MIT, i guess my summer lifting is primarily a way to rediscover a part of me that has been lost - a part that helps me to thrive in competition and a part that makes me feel sorry for every minute i wasted sitting down. i've become such a nerd in college and it's about time my jock side is reawakened. plus, it can't hurt to fit more snugly into some of my shirts.

6-5-03
"Are you sure about this?" he asked as he walked through the door.

"I don't think anything will change," she said, quickly turning around and walking up the stairs.

He had never been in her house before. They lived in different towns, about forty minutes away from each other. They had met in their first year of college and had been friends for two years now. Of course, he had often wondered what it would be like if they were more than just friends, but he assumed that he had nothing more to offer than the next guy and felt it would be wiser to remain a good friend rather than to risk it all on a romantic whim.

"This is my room. It was a mess when I moved back home, but the past few weeks have been so boring that I just cleaned my room everyday," she said. He immediately noticed the immensely wide space of carpet just freshly vacuumed. A sturdy double-sized bed with a light blue comforter lay in one corner of the room, while a small wooden desk occupied another corner of the room along with a dark red chair with wheels.

"Nice room. I guess you like the open space?" he commented, as he noticed a medium-sized poster print of a painting showing some apples and oranges, "You like Cezanne? I like his style - that peasantry stuff." He had remembered back to his art humanities course from the previous semester and felt warm and tingly inside, finally getting some payoff for memorizing all those damned painters.

"Yeah, apples and oranges are my favorite fruits, so I saw the print online and decided to order," she said, unimpressed that he knew who the painter was. She sat down on her bed, and he took a seat at her desk. He began to browse the framed photographs on her desk of her family and friends before finally turning back to look at her. She wasn't the prettiest girl, nor the hottest, but she was pleasant enough to look at for long periods of time. He thought her hair was nice because it was very straight and shiny brown and looked good when it was down. He looked at her feet, which were bare and pointed inward, on top of each other. They looked fairly slender and her toenails looked clean. He was glad he had socks on because his feet probably looked terrible, especially with the calluses he accumulated from playing too much basketball the past few weeks.

"So... you want anything to drink?" she asked, "I know where my Dad keeps his liquor. Want to mix drinks or anything?"

"Well, I did drive here," he said.

"Yeah, but by the time you leave, it shouldn't really matter. Come on, let's go to the kitchen and see what we can make," she said. She got up and scurried down the hall and down the steps. He followed her, slowly panning the rest of the house. I hope her dad has some of that Johnny Walker stuff, he thought as he felt the carpet turn to the cooler tile surface underneath his feet.

"Com'on. Take a look," she said. She got on her toes and opened up a light-colored wooden cabinet. "Want to go shot-to-shot with me and see who wins?" She brought down a bottle of scotch whiskey, Johnny Walker Black label, along with two shot glasses. "Pour it," she commanded.

-to be continued-

6-6-03
Peter Kang Survives Normal Day | by Peter Kang

At 8:15 am this morning, Peter Kang was awakened by his mother, who was conducting her weekly house cleaning and was in the process of picking up dirty laundry off his floor. Kang was told to get out of his bed and to wash up before breakfast. Kang, surprised by his mother's presence so early in the morning, rushed out of his bed and into his bathroom in a dazed state.

"I always get like that when someone wakes me up by calling my name," Kang said, "but a nice cold face wash usually calms me down." By the time Kang made it to the kitchen for breakfast, his mother had prepared for him a large banana-blueberry pancake. While browsing through The New York Times, Kang found delight in poking the blueberries with his fork, which spilled out its purple filling all over the plate.

Having made his after-meal trip to the bathroom, Kang followed his mother's instruction and drove the Honda Accord to a car garage, where photographs of the car were taken for insurance purposes. Afterwards, Kang joined his mother in the family's Buick and made the commute to New York City. Kang made the most out of his passenger-ride to the city, as he tilted his head backwards and enjoyed a deep sleep that was only interrupted when the car had made it to the other side of the Holland Tunnel. Let out on Canal St. to take the no. 1 train uptown to his workplace, Kang was certain that he would make it to work by eleven o'clock.

Arriving at 110th St. due to construction on his usual stop at 116th, Kang turned the inconvenience into an opportunity as he deposited money at the Citibank located on 111th St.

When asked why he delayed going to work by as much as five minutes, Kang replied, "I finally got reimbursed for the KSA Semiformal, which amounted to about $560, so I was pretty eager to deposit it." Kang also mumbled to himself about needing to pay off a thousand dollar credit card statement.

On 112th St., Kang was tempted to stop and try out the new Oren's Coffee Shop, which had opened around the time school ended in mid-May. Never having tried the gourmet coffee shop, Kang stopped at the window to check out the prices, but unable to read the posted menu from outside the store, he opted to bypass the store and headed for University Food Market on 115th St., where made his usual $1.03 large coffee-with-milk-and-sugar purchase.

Along his walk to work, Kang received a phone call on his cell phone from a web client whose page was to debut today. Alerting Kang that the new page had not gone up, his client, whose name Kang asked to remain anonymous for business purposes, demanded an explanation. Kang, sure that he had made the update the night before, assured his client that the page was up and that the problem was with the client's own web browser. After placing another phone call to his friend Ken Chen to make sure the site was indeed updated, which Chen confirmed, Kang instructed his client to include the "index.html" in the address. Having complied with Kang's instruction, the client was pleased that the site worked.

At his workplace, located on the 9th floor of the Interchurch Building on Claremont Ave., Kang greeted the usual cast at the office before coming to his cubicle. After making an urgent correction to an article he had been working on, Kang e-mailed his work to his editors and found himself free of any immediate obligations.

"It's the nicest at the office when I finish my Bookshelf article, because that's really the only deadline I have to meet, and afterwards, I can do whatever I want," Kang said. On a sunny, bright Friday, Kang found himself organizing his work area, filing away papers and placing books in their proper places. A phone call from his friend Hsin interrupted his work as she reminded him about his promise to help her fix her computer. Kang, having notified his supervisor that he would take an extended lunch break, headed downstairs to the cafeteria to pick up a turkey sandwich and ginger ale before walking to the Sulzberger Tower at Barnard College, where his friend Hsin is residing this summer.

"She's one of those girls who, if you gave them a diesel Pentium 4 computer with all the top-of-the-line parts, she would somehow find a way to slow it down and mess it up within two weeks," Kang said as he tried to describe the situation he faced in assessing Hsin's computer problem. From listening to Hsin's detailed account of how her DVD drive stopped working, Kang gathered that she had probably placed a CD incorrectly into the drive, making the eject function uncooperative. Then, in a fit of frustration, she had stuck a screwdriver to pull out the CD, an action that tore off a vital gear from the drive, rendering it useless.

"I knew I shouldn't have stuck that in there," Hsin said regretfully. Fighting the immense dust, Kang finally opened up the computer covers and took out the DVD player to see if any repairs could be made. When it was determined that the DVD drive was forever damaged, Kang suggested the Hsin buy another one. The two made plans to meet up after work in order to go downtown and replace her DVD drive. Hsin also agreed that buying more memory for her computer would help with its performance.

Kang returned to work and resumed his cleaning before walking out to campus to pick up his recommendation for a Korean scholarship from his Contemporary Civilzation professor. Professor Yavari, whom Kang found in her office working on her book, greeted Kang and made small talk before he went to the secretary to pick up the letter and return to work. Kang finished off the work day by joining in a small office celebration of two birthdays. After work, Kang waited for Hsin on the bench at the Barnard gates. As he waited, he met Olivia, a rising senior who was part of the Lunar Gala team for whom Kang had volunteered to create a website. The two discussed some logistics and made small talk before Olivia left to get retrieve her mail. Shortly afterwards, Kang met Hsin and they took the subway down to 28th St., where they walked a block to Safenet, a Korean-owned computer store. Kang was able to find a $40 DVD drive for Hsin and also placed an order for an $80 memory card, which would be available later in the week. Hsin would later regret buying the memory card as she found out from her brother that the same card would cost only $20 online. Kang apologized for the rip-off but reminded Hsin that the use of his father's account at the store allowed her to purchase the products tax-free.

Hsin, claiming that she had nothing else to do, joined Kang as he made his way downtown to deliver a box of flyers to his web client. Taking a cab down to Hudson St., Kang and Hsin made their way to the office of Stop'n'Print, the company responsible for producing the flyers. Kang, anxious to see the flyers he had designed in print, quickly found the box. He was pleased that the card had come out the way it was made. The box, weighing around 80lbs and containing 5000 flyers, created a discomforting situation for Kang as he walked a few blocks searching for a cab. With the help of Hsin, a cab was secured.

"I thought I would have to carry that piece forever. Thankfully, we caught a cab not too far away from the Stop'n'Print building," Kang recalled. The next location was the apartment of his client, which was located midtown on the east side. The ride took only 15 minutes, and since the drop-off was for the doorman, that took less than a minute to accomplish. Needing to make it to his parents' store on Cooper Sq. by no later than 7:15pm, Kang instructed the cab driver and sat back, hoping there would be no traffic.

"I know that my mom gets pissed if she doesn't get home by a certain time, so I kept hoping that I would get to the store in time," said Kang. Talking to Hsin about random things, Kang was able to play down his worries. Much to the suprise of both Kang and Hsin, the cab reached Astor Pl. and Cooper Sq. at 7:03 pm. Kang walked Hsin halfway to the N and R station before saying goodbye and met his parents at the store.

Kang only recalled the ride home as being "short" as he fell asleep instanteously in the back seat. At home in New Jersey, Kang ate dinner with his family before heading over to his friend Andy's house to watch the New Jersey Nets take on the San Antonio Spurs in Game 2 of the NBA Finals. Kang drove out of the way to pick up his friend Ken Chen, who selfishly demanded that he be taken to QuikCheck, the convenience store near his house, so that he could purchase a sub for himself. Kang quickly responded by forcing Ken to buy chips to eat during the game.

"It's good to leave the wallet at home sometimes," Kang said,"because then you have the ultimate excuse for not having to pay. Plus, that cheap-ass mofo got what was coming." Kang added a Vanilla Coke to the chips last second to maximize the effect.

At Andy's house, Ken, Kang, and Andy were soon joined by their friend Welton, who had come back from his trip to South Africa the previous day. Jet-lagged and tired, the short friend struggled to remain awake during the game and passed out by the fourth quarter. The other three friends watched the game intensely, as they rejoiced in the superstar antics of Jason Kidd. The Nets squeezed through with a victory, pleasing the New Jersey inhabitants watching in the living room.

After browsing through commercial video clips of the Korean actress Jun Ji Hyun (from My Sassy Girl) on Andy's computer, everyone called it a night and went home. Kang, Andy, and Welton have plans to wake up at 7am on Saturday morning to take a one-day trip to Dartmouth, where Welton will attend an ROTC event.

Kang, by 12:30am, retired to his room after having convinced his parents that a trip to Dartmouth was more important than mowing the lawn. His father took a lenient stance and volunteered to cut the grass, himself.

"I just hope [Dad] doesn't get all sore after doing it. He's been having some physical difficulties lately and it would suck bigtime if I had to come back and see him in pain," Kang remarked on the possibility of feeling guilty in forgoing his grass-cutting duty.

After wasting some time on Instant Messenger, Kang decided to write about his day on his summer website, pk's marvelous summer in progress. Adopting a newspaper article format for this particular entry, Kang hopes that the entry will generate some curiosity from his readers, who will instantly notice the third person reference in title: Peter Kang Survives Normal Day.

"I'm guessing people will think this is very self-indulgent and vain, but it's just a way for me to practice another style of writing," Kang explained, hoping to innoculate himself from imminent criticism.

"I've had a fairly long day, and I think it's about time to call it quits," Kang said, as he looked to finish up the article. "Today might seem like just another normal day, but I think when you break it down event by event, it can be pretty exciting. It's definitely no easy task to survive a normal day."

-pk

6-8-03
woody likes star wars. not to mention star trek. and he loves to play computer games. and some chess, too. don't forget magic cards. ddr is a prime source of exercise for this student, who has just finished his first year of college. he is an avid anime viewer and also loves to read the latest reviews of upcoming games on PC Gamer.

woody is also one of the coolest kids i know.

woody (yes, that is his real, legal name - his chinese name was something like wei di so it translated right into woody when his family came to America) is the younger brother of my good friend welton. he is an easily identifiable "nerd" or "geek." he uses a great deal of computer jargon in his day-to-day conversations with people and he is an obsessive student who maintains a 4.0 GPA at berkeley. he also likes to wear tight jeans and plaid tops. he has a slight slouch, but remains fairly clean in appearance.

now, for those who think i am being sarcastic for calling woody a cool person, you may have questions such as: does he get mad girls? is he really funny and humorous? is he an interesting person?

from my personal experience, which goes back to about 7 or 8 years when i first met woody and knew him to be welton's brother, i'd say the answer to all those questions would be 'no.' i don't think woody has had much experience with girls until very recently (his brother reported that a 'pretty cute girl' came to pick woody up the other day - but then again, he could have been going over her house to fix her computer). he is also a stiff guy who may be the subject of many jokes, but rarely a producer of one. and as for being interesting, i've never really talked to him about anything more than computer stuff.

i'd say that woody is as big a nerd as they come. a prime example would be tonight, when some of my friends and i gathered at andy's house to watch game 3 of the NBA Finals. before we started to watch the game, me and head sat in andy's room trying to compile statistics from our latest HBA Summer League games. we run our own basketball league at Hidden Park where we take down stats from shots made/missed to assists, blocks, steals, and turnovers. while we were calculating totals, welton and woody came over and looked at what we were doing. welton left the room shortly afterewards to socialize with the others in the living room while head and i stayed to finish. woody also stuck around, taking a keen interest in our number counting.

"You know, you can put those in excel and have some things calculated automatically," he said. Right then, a light bulb went off in my head. i realized that woody had done HBA stats for us when we were seniors in high school. welton had coerced him into doing all the statistics in order to save us time. i felt that woody's excel expertise would be well used again if he could create a spreadsheet that automatically formulated averages for individual players and teams.

"woody, can you make an excel file that does that? none of us are good enough at it. com'on, hook it up," i asked him. woody complied, rather more eagerly than anticipated. the nets-spurs game had already begun and me and head wanted to head over to watch it. woody didn't seem to be bothered that he would have to sit an extra 20 to 30 minutes doing excel work for a basketball league he was not even a part of. the best part was that it looked as if he would have rather done the excel stuff than watch the game with everyone else. it was a most amusing sight.

"you want anything to drink? water or ice tea?" i asked him, feeling slightly guilty that he was doing our slave work.

"um. i guess water would be fine - or smirnoff ice," he said. that just cracked me and head up. here was this classic nerd and he must've had a sip or two of girly alcohol in college, so openly talking about alcohol must have made him feel pretty good about himself.

woody finished his task and even went as far as to teach us how to maintain the spreadsheet throughout the season. i found it somewhat admirable that he took his nerd-work seriously and being able to teach us things definitely gave him an air of confidence.

i guess what i really want to say about woody is that he's comfortable with who he is, and that is something everyone should respect. it's kind of like barnard sga prez jeeho, who loves being at barnard because of barnard and not because being a barnard student is a backdoor way into taking columbia classes and lying to people in remote places that you go to an ivy league school - in fact, she had real barnard pride and has always told people that she is from barnard. as much as columbia people in general may look down upon barnard and its students, i think those who are comfortable with being barnard students and do not overstep their bounds deserve a certain level of respect.

as for woody, he knows that he's a nerd. i think being around his brother and other cooler people has made him aware of his own nerdiness. he is a genuine nerd who does not seek ways to be "cooler" and does not covet any other image. as easy as it is for me and other kids to make fun of him, perhaps it's our own insecurities about who we are that makes us want to attack and humiliate someone like woody, who seems to have it all figured out.

6-22-03
"I thought we were going to have mixed drinks," he asked, although he was getting just what he had wished.

"Yeah, but I remembered you told me a while ago that you like Johnny Walker," she said. He was surprised and even a bit flattered that she remembered such a trifling detail.

"Think you can handle something that hard?" he said in a playful tone. They had taken their seat and she almost seemed restless.

"Would I have asked you to pour it if I didn't think I could handle it?" she said, "Besides, this is my house and I'm allowed to get as fucked up as I want to." He was puzzled by her sudden impulse to drink, but he did as he was told. She then took the bottle and poured into his shot glass.

"Here's to an empty house on a Friday night, no parents, no siblings," she said, as she raised her glass and made slight contact with his. The two took their shots and each shook their heads in response to the strong sensation of the drink. They both regretted not having had a chaser ready. She got up to get a two-liter bottle of Coke from the refrigerator.

"You know, maybe you should've thrown a party or something. We could've had the rest of the crew come," he said as she had her back turned.

"I don't really like throwing parties. Plus, it would just make a big mess of the house and I'd have to clean it." She poured the Coke into a tall glass and took a few gulps before passing what was left to him.

"Yeah, you're right," he said. They sat in silence, both avoiding eye contact, and wondering what to say next.

"Another shot?" she asked.

"Alright, go ahead."

With a chaser at hand, the two alternated Johnny Walker shots with Coke for another four rounds, barely talking and both hoping that things would loosen up.

"You feeling buzzed at all yet?" he asked.

"Yeah, a little bit. I ate a big dinner, so I guess it's not too bad," she replied. But he didn't really believe her. She must have been about 5'4" and 110 lbs at most. She was thin, but she was curvacious enough so that tight-fitting shirts and jeans suited her well.

"Want another shot, then?" he asked, slightly buzzed but still thirsting for a few more shots.

"I think I'll take a break for now. Wanna go hang out in the living room?" she asked while already halfway towards the brown leather couch.

The living room was right next to the kitchen and sat atop the light lavender carpet. Two adjacent leather couches, probably roomy enough for six or seven people, were found opposite from the television cabinet, which housed a 35-inch television with all the necessary DVD and sound equipment. Her cheeks were slightly red but they seemed to blend in with the light given off by the halogen lampstand. She dimmed the lights halfway and sat down on one end of the couch. He followed her slowly and sat on the other end, facing her.

-to be continued-

6-23-03
you've melted half your summer break away already. maybe it's time to reflect on it a little. ready for a round of 21-questions?

1. if this summer had a color, what would it be?
gray. all shades of it.

2. favorite subway moment?
on my way to work one morning, i saw this pretty asian girl wearing all white sitting across from me... she got off at the same stop and we walked next to each other for like a few blocks, but then i couldn't bear the shyness, so i just crossed the street.

3. most memorable college walk experience?
i was on my way to dropping something off at CCIT when these asian kids approached me and asked it i was interested in joining a christian club, and i found the guts to say "hellz no" and then chuckled to myself while walking away.... pure evil

4. most exhilarating moment?
i was so freaking nervous about picking up my CC final, especially because the final grade hadn't been posted on student services... so when i got out of the elevator and down the hallway on Kent 6, i was shaking and near pissing in my pants... seeing that 93 on the blue booklet was quite an exciting feeling

5. most sensual feeling?
at johnny's bday party, i got so fucked up from drinking that i ended up throwing up all over myself... but that instance when the warm feeling of vomit slowly covered my face, man... that felt awfully good... haha

6. coolest cab ride?
i think i wrote about this before, but it was when i had to deliver a package and huhzin came along... as she put it, it was "nice seeing some other parts of New York"... and i must thank huhzin for the honor of being allowed to be in the same cab with someone so cool

7. most challenging weekend?
being part of the crew for reunion weekend was a most fortunate occurrence for me this summer... i got to talk to old white people and even got tipped for helping them carry bags... and to make it back home just in time for the HBA Summer League opener... that was awesome.

8. most static sight?
every time i go over to Broadway to visit Brian, he's in the same position playing the same computer game... and then he always remembers to tell me that he's just been out before getting something to eat or back from lifting at the gym... it's ok, man... i don't have much of a life either.

9. hardest lift thus far?
that last set of hang cleans during the second week of lifting with warren was just nasty... i thought my wrist was going to snap off... but after watching The Hulk, i think it's worth the pain to get that big.

10. favorite late night television show?
conan of course... he's better than all the rest... america is just too stupid to see how funny he is

11. most frequent bathroom read?
The New York Times daily sports and business sections.

12. breakfast of choice?
same as the school year: large coffee with milk and sugar and a croissant from UFM

13. most relaxed feeling?
on top of camel summit after a 5-mile hike, sitting with Wally, Woody, and Nigi, munching on trail mixes and waiting for the MREs to heat up... canoeing with them on the Connecticut River and stopping on the river to make sandwiches and eat lunch... throwing frisbee and playing touch football with Nigi and Wally... thanks for the great time, Wally.

14. most listened-to song besides John Mayer's stuff?
foo fighters: times like these [acoustic]

15. favorite HBA moment?
preparing the court during the season opener with head and nigi... brushing away the puddles and setting up the seats... daring the rain to come, but knowing it never will

16. funniest mispronunciation by Reggie?
"i have an A-fro"... "you mean, an ah-fro? you fob"

17. grandma highlights?
buying her a children's footstool to use as a squatter's seat at IKEA... taking her to Home Depot and seeing her get excited at all the gardening supplies

18. favorite movie so far?
italian job - charlize theron was so pretty in it and the movie was just very entertaining and perfect for the moment.... stupid mark wahlberg almost messes that up

19. worst fears?
maybe i'm not cool enough to hang with a lot of the people i know... or am i too cool?

20. most out-of-norm moment?
chilling with old school buddy steve elwood and hitting up a rutger's party that had hardly anybody we knew... sitting in the living room of his college house and watching juice... hearing him talk about how bad-ass 2pac is in that movie... good stuff

21. if you could change one thing about this summer, what would it be?
more sunshine, please.

6-27-03
the mill, which is located on broadway between 113th and 114th, is the only korean restaurant found in the morningside heights community. its patrons include the students and other members of Columbia University as well as the residents of the upper westside apartments.

the mill, which evokes a bogus image of a wooden korean watermill, was originally an american diner restaurant of the same name. a korean owner bought it out a few decades ago and turned it into a half-korean, half-american food restaurant. slowly, the korean side overtook the american cuisine and the mill, as we know it today, began to exclusively serve korean food. the owner decided to keep the name.

the mill, which was open at 4:30pm on Thursday June 26th, was void of customers and completely empty except for the middle-aged korean woman, who happened to be the wife of the owner working as hostess/waitress that day. she sat in the back of the restaurant, cursing the extreme heat and fighting to stay awake.

peter kang, who was born in Suwon, South Korea, came to the United States when he was 6 years old. although he embraced his new country and soon adopted its language and absorbed a great deal of its culture, he always retained his love of korean food.

peter kang, a student at Columbia College and currently working for his school's alumni magazine, found himself, on a Thursday afternoon in June, filing papers at the office of alumni affairs while checking if anyone had replied to his personals posted on a singles website.

peter kang, feeling lonely and hungry, lost his desire to do any more work and requested dismissal at around 3:30pm, about an hour and a half earlier than normal. he walked around campus in the burning 90-plus degree heat, hoping to find someone he could share a meal with. he ended up just sweaty and even hungrier.

an empty restaurant. a hungry korean boy. the resolution was inevitable.

peter kang, overcoming his fear of dining alone at a restaurant, boldly walked two blocks to the mill. opting to sit indoors to avoid the heat [and perhaps the glances of passing strangers who might wonder why he was eating alone]. he entered the mill at exactly 4:33pm and was unfazed at the sight of a completely empty room. the middle-aged woman, woken out of her momentary slumber, excitedly prepared the table and waited for an order. without even looking at the menu, peter kang ordered for himself bibim kooksoo, a spicy noodle dish that his family always ate during the summertime.

the mill, no longer in a midday siesta, was back in business thanks to the courageous impulse of the 20-year old korean student, who stayed true to his roots and saved a restaurant from the shame of not having any customers from 4:33pm to 5:02pm.

peter kang, after all was said and done, felt better about himself and appreciated the new self-realization that dining alone was nothing to fear. he was also no longer hungry.

-pk

7-1-03
"you're like the opposite of samson," melanie told me online a few hours ago in response to my comment that i needed a hair cut.

1:30 am on a weekday and i felt the strongest urge to raze the half-inch of hair from my scalp...

now, before i expand on the sequence of actions that followed, i will make some comments about being bald.

i've told people over and over again that i first shaved my head during my junior year in high school when i felt that having no hair would be conducive to my athletic pursuits in both football and track - i.e. it was my attempt to feel "black," in that i would seem stronger, faster, and more athletic [excuse the p.c. violation].

well, by the time college rolled around, i had grown fond of my hairless existence and decided to keep the same style. by this time, i had met many new people and they easily remembered me by my baldness. so, without sports as an excuse, i adopted the reason of "being comfortable" to answer questions as to why i kept the style - no need to comb or gel in the mornings and it dried in less than a minute.

of course, i was not without the usual criticism. "you have very mean looking eyes," my mom once told me, adding "like your father" to enhance the hyperbolic comparison. "plus, your head shape is all weird and pointy. you're gonna have to grow your hair out sometime." my mom would go on to tell me about the jobs i would fail to get because interviewers would find me intimidating.

my grandma also joined in the bald-bashing, although in a subtler manner. when my hair grows to be about half-an-inch about a week or two after shaving it, she always remarks, "aw, you're hair is looking just perfect. grow it a few more weeks, and you'll be so handsome." i would then thank her for reminding me and proceed to resetting the follicles in my scalp.

i especially find it funniest when my mom calls me an "animal" (in korean, it's jim-seung) for my hairstyle. i find it quite ironic because maintaining a bald hairstyle requires a lot of skill and is anything but natural. in fact, it is very unnatural because i am removing from my body the very hairs that are supposed to grow and protect my head from the cold. in a way, my hairstyle can be described as "modern" and "futuristic." my mom does agree on one point - "your head is shaped like an alien's head, like you were from the future or something." awesome. my mom thinks i'm an alien-animal.

so - origins and criticisms aside, i really wanted to shave my hair tonight. what kept me from going ahead with my normal routine in the bathroom were the following:
1) the bathroom was too close to everyone's bedrooms and the buzzing noise would certianly wake everyone up
2) the only shower in my poorly designed house is in the bathroom of my parents' room; i'm a considerate son, so i would know better than to wake them up to take a selfish shower at 2 in the morning.

what to do? if i am good at one thing, it is the ability to problem-solve problems that do not require mathematical or scientific formulas and figures, i.e. practical life application problems.

solution:
1) there is an open space in the back corner of the kitchen, which is far away enough from everyone that the buzzing noise would not be a factor
> i laid the newspapers down and went on to shave my head in about 15 minutes.
2) i can always take a shower in the morning, but the main problem is to get the bits of hair out of my scalp before they get all over my bed, clothing, and carpet.
> i took a bar of soap and some shampoo and took a nice walk to the backyard, where warm nighttime weather and lukewarm hose water created the perfect conditions for an old-school outdoor shower

i wasn't psycho enough to get naked in my backyard and risk mosquito bites in the wrong places, but i did manage to get off the excess hair pieces from my head and back, buying me some time until the morning, when i will hopefully be able to take a real shower.

at this moment, i do feel good. i even tried on some clothes for tomorrow because i have this self-perception that clothes look better on me when i am freshly bald. after a conference with vanity, i decided to recap the exciting haircut.

aside from the fact that samson gets his strength from having hair while i get it from not having it, we are very much alike. my pride, my confidence, my abilities, and my charms are invariably linked to [the absence of] my hair. it will take a seductive girl, bearing a miracle-gro hair tonic rather than a scissor in my case, to bring me down; so for all of you who are intent on stopping me, you know what to do [find me that seductive girl!].

-pk

7-6-03
The night before, they had been talking online. After school had let out for summer vacation, they found themselves interacting with each other more than before - either through e-mails to each other at their summer office jobs or at night on the instant messenger.

On that particular night, their conversation had an uncommon sexual edge. It began with his subtle comment on his social life:

"Man, I haven't gotten any in a long time. You know, I just work a routine schedule and never really get to meet anyone new. And I'm definitely too shy to just go and mack on someone at a party," he wrote in his IM box.

"Yeah, well, you're not the only one. I mean, I haven't found anyone decent these days, you know? All the guys I run into at clubs are just so shady and gross," she replied.

Before long, their conversation traversed further into the previously unknown. How many girls/guys have you hooked up with in college? What do you like best about getting play? Do you think you're good at any particular thing? They also shared more intimate details about past experiences and what moments they had found most fulfilling.

Typing away at their individual computers into the hours just before sunrise, they found themselves with an uncanny feeling of enlightenment about each others' sex lives. It was getting beyond late, but he was itching to ask just one more question. Although it made him nervous to think about what her reaction would be, the weariness and the fatigue made it a less shocking idea.

"Hey... you think you and I can ever...?" he wrote, trying to be as vague as possible.

"Um... maybe," she replied, after a long wait that had him holding his breath for as much as a minute. He had almost expected a "haha" or a "no way," but to see that she was willing to try sent a chill down his back side and had him shaking his head with a feeling of victory.

"Oh yeah??" he wrote, just to make sure she wasn't joking. He was ecstatic, but he realized glory may be short-lived if he didn't have anything definite.

"Hey - why don't you come over tomorrow. I think I'm less than an hour away. I'll be alone all weekend. I dunno. Maybe you'll get lucky. Ok, I gg. Night," she wrote as she signed off immediately before giving him a chance to ask more questions or to recover from the directness of her request. He would have to find out her address by emailing her tomorrow at work and then look it up on Mapquest before driving over there in the evening. But at this moment, he felt lucky already.

And I thought I was the only horny one sitting in front of the computer every night, he told himself. Sure, she was still a friend and his feelings toward her wouldn't change; but he was going to get some.

He looked at her bare feet again, which were now erect and parallel to each other on the coffee table. She was sitting comfortably on the couch with her head leaning back over the top part of the couch. She seemed to be looking up at the ceiling and blinking her eyes slowly, as if she was about to fall asleep. He studied her feet carefully again and noted how thin her ankles were. They looked very soft and pale, and he wondered if he could wrap his fingers around one. He knew that he couldn't sit still forever and expect her to jump on top of him. He would have to make a move if he wanted anything. She had seemed so cool and so sure of everything. She had even drank hard liquor and dimmed the lights so that the mood would be just right. He thought hard and tried to remember any of his past hookups and how he had initiated those encounters. But this was different. This was a friend and not some girl he had met at a party. This was someone who knew a whole lot about him, or at least he thought did. But then again, they were just going to have some fun and he realized that too much thinking would only make the fun seem like less.

He slowly slid his hand towards her hand before it rested softly on the top of her hand. She picked up her head from the couch and turned her head slowly towards him. They had made eye contact and the inevitable tension began to build up. He leaned over closer to her and titled his head a bit, letting her know what was next in the sequence.

"I don't know about this," she said, interrupting his smooth operation and throwing his entire mindset into chaos.

"What do you mean?" he said, trying hard to recover from a sudden combination rush of surprise, disappointment, and anxiety.

"I really like you as a friend," she said, "and I don't ever want things to be weird between us."

"You really think so? How come you didn't think about that last night?" he asked, still dealing with the sudden interruption and combatting the unexpected release of acids in his stomach.

"I... I don't know. I didn't think it would feel like this. I thought we could just hook up and feel nothing about it. But I'm just... scared," she said. She was no longer looking at him, but straight ahead at the black, empty television screen.

"Hey, it's okay. We don't have to anything if you don't want to," he said, bitterly accepting the role of good guy and offering a reluctant pass.

"You know, ever since school got out and we started to talk to each other more, I dunno - I just feel like I have someone I can talk to now about everything. I mean, I go to work and the first thing I want to do is e-mail you and just see what I have to say and what you have to say," she said.

"Yeah, I know. But you really think just hooking up one night will change all that? I mean, I'm not going to stop e-mailing you or talking to you online. It'll be the same," he said, momentarily hoping she would reconsider.

"I had this boyfriend once. Before I started going out with him, we were just friends. But then one day we started talking more, and we had a really good time when summer came. We hung out everyday and soon, I realized I couldn't be without him because he was so fun to be around. So one day that summer, we were just watching TV at my place and I kinda rubbed up against him. Next thing we know, we're hooking up and going pretty crazy. I don't know. We never said anything about liking each other, but from that day on, we were just girlfriend and boyfriend," she said.

"And you think if we hook up today, it'll be just like that and you don't want that to happen?" he asked, not totally sure if he followed what she was trying to say.

"Well... I don't know. I like you as a friend, and I want you to stay a friend," she said.

"As do I," he said, "but what's with the comparison with your old boyfriend?"

"I don't know. I'm just not sure we should hook up," she looked at him with a solemn face and he knew that any rebuttals would no longer be allowed.

"Oh. Well, we don't have to," he said, as his eyes moved away from hers and began to randomly scan the room.

"Are you mad?" she asked, hinting the disappointment in his voice.

"No, no. It's just that I wish you had said something sooner. You know, just some raised expectations. Com'on. I told you I was horny," he said, adding a fake-sounding laugh at the end, hoping it would help him to forget about what had just transpired.

"I'm sorry. I didn't think I'd feel this way. I thought it would be fun, too. I just don't know," she said, as her voice trailed away and a worried look inhabited her face.

He sighed and sat motionless on the couch, looking straight ahead just like her. He didn't know what to do. Go home? Talk?

"Hey, you think I can have more of that Johnny?" he asked.

"Sure. Want me to bring it here?" she answered.

"Um. Okay."

-to be continued-

7-20-03
i sat in my car listening to some random songs on the radio while the arab man filled up the gas.

i thought about new jersey and its many different faces.

i thought about my beautiful hidden park, where we play games on sunday afternoons on hoops that are lower than the real ones and a court that should actually be used for tennis.

i thought about down the street from my house where all the indians had their stores and how these stores were once pizza huts and boston markets. heck, the one that used to be pizza hut still has that red hat-like roof on it.

i thought about that time i got lost in the plainfield area and was afraid someone would walk up to my car and steal it.

i thought about that time i took my grandma to ikea to buy furniture and also saw a big toys'r'us. i had to explain to her in korean that it was a place where they sold toys for kids.

i thought about hoboken and the nice restaurants that tasted as good as new york ones but didn't cost as much; but the parking was just as tough to find. they also let you bring your own alcohol, so maybe that's something to consider when i'm 21.

i thought about palisades park and going there after church when i was little. in the autumn it felt like the entire place was glowing from the red, yellow, and orange leaves.

i thought about the main streets all over the place - in metuchen, in westfield, and in princeton, where i think i've had romantic walks before.

i thought about the grease trucks and eating there late at night and that shabby, old neighborhood feeling i get from walking around college ave in new brunswick, wondering what it would have been like if i had gone to rutgers. imagine the crappy part of amsterdam ave especially around 105 st. - that's the feeling i'm talking about.

i thought about that tree behind the supermarket where we used to climb and sit on after school in 5th grade, until the branch finally gave away to our weight and broke, leaving us to find a new place to hang out. imagine what that would've looked like to a white senior citizen driving by - five little korean boys sitting on a tree like a bunch of monkeys.

i thought about the rio grande area in cresskill, where all the rich jewish kids lived in houses that were so big, it was possible to get lost in them; i think this kid had a treehouse that was bigger than the house my own family lived in.

i thought about driving through potters to pick up a teammate for practice and feeling cool because more black people knew me now from being a varsity running back and some even called out my name; and i reached for the volume dial just to make sure everyone knew that i listened to 2pac. word.

i thought about the jersey shore and how some spots are so barren while others feel so cheap with all the carnival lights and terrible pink and aqua colored hotels. i guess that explains why i make the extra long trip to jones beach.

i thought about the new york sports club in colonia and how all the whiteboys there have the same body type, same hair cut - that damn orange/blonde bleach in the front, same clothes - cargo pants and a wifebeater, and that same look on their faces, telling us asians that this was their town. then i wondered if they all listened to eminem and rooted for the yankees.

i thought about that kmart i used to go to when i was in elementary school and how my parents trusted the book section to watch over me and my sister as they did their shopping; i remember carefully reading every single page in every single available calvin and hobbes volumes.

i thought about that time i biked on a cloudless day to a theater in closter with my friend and watched forrest gump... or was it the lion king?

i thought about saturday mornings sitting on a bench eating my bagel with taylor ham and egg with snapple iced tea right before the short, helmets-only practice in pee-wee football and wondering how they actually let me be the kicker on special teams.

i thought about route 1 where you can pretty much see all the chain stores that exist on the east coast - or is that with route 18 and route 22 comined?

i thought about the jcc in east brunswick where i was supposed to improve my SAT scores but found myself dozing off in the corner wasting my parents' money.

i thought about the townhouse on sunflower court and how that was the place i grew up the most.

i thought about the sun over hillside that drenched everything in a shade of yellow as my parents developed ten rolls of film in a day and called it "normal" while giving me a few dollars to buy an ice cream cone from the place next door, where all the black and hispanic kids hung out with their bikes and jump ropes.

i thought about teaneck library and the barnes and noble on route 4, where my sister and i were given complete freedom to roam around and read whatever we wanted to read, plus free air conditioning in the summer.

i thought about the public pool where you can rent a knock-hockey board and play with a friend while lying on the grass in the shade; and then when we got bored we would walk up to the public phones there and dial up one of those 1-900 porno numbers and giggle because the numbers spelled out slang words for genitalia.

i thought about great adventure and how it looked smaller and smaller each time i went.

i thought about the great gorge resort and how i found it funny that my family would go there to stay at one of their condos but not even go golfing or skiing.

i thought about those nice places in jersey where some of my friends boast a "white" neighborhood and big houses on hills. sure they're really nice, but i think i'd get bored real quick.

i thought about menlo and how it seemed like the biggest hangout spot for high school kids. i guess i was a nerd because i remember going only a few times during my time in high school.

i thought about those summer evenings when the sun was just setting on the horizon and i was riding my bike around on the other side of the train tracks, wondering which house she lived in and if i would even recognize her if i saw her on the street. not that i was obsessed or anything. just curious and just bored. but i never saw her again and soon forgot that she even existed.

i thought about that street where the cherry blossoms were just so crazy in the spring time and everything was just so perfect because i didn't want anything else. but then the cherry blossoms faded and died and then i was standing in the driveway with someone i hardly knew, wondering what would be next.

i think i had more thoughts about new jersey, but then i wondered if i could've had such thoughts after living in another state, where maybe instead of four seasons, there was the same weather year-round. or was this even a thought about new jersey at all? maybe it was one of those self-indulgent look-back-at-my-life episodes.

then i paid the fifteen dollars, no tip, and thought about the wonders of new jersey again.

7-30-03
have you ever wondered why a friendship isn't always permanent?

i guess as you live longer, you get to see more and more people come and go in your life. some friendships end because of inconveniences such as the physical space between the two people.

when i moved from cresskill to edison in 6th grade, my friendships with the numerous friends i had in cresskill were pretty much doomed. although some friendships lingered for a few more years, they eventually died out. i guess at an age like 12 or 13, there isn't as much a substantive connection to keep friends together when they can hardly ever see each other.

some friendships end because of an argument, mishap, stupid drama, or incompatible personalities.

i caught a kid talking crap about me behind my back and couldn't forgive him for the longest time. by the time i could look at him in the eye and say "sup" without feeling any anger, we were complete strangers.

sometimes there are stupid drama happenings that threaten friendships and often kill them as well. some people have conflicts that result from romantic interests. if you are jaded like myself, you can overcome these, but you just have to be willing to care less about the parties involved.

when incompatible personalities meet, there is a chance that the persons can be mistaken and embark on what seems to be a pleasant friendship. these are quite annoying scenarios and it might be weeks or months before you've slowly grown to hate the other person. i've had my share of these in college, and it gets real awkward when you finally phase someone out but end up seeing him/her around campus now and then. i wonder if i've been phased out by other people as well. that would really suck.

aside from these very legitimate reasons, i think the worst is the one where you simply stop talking to someone who you've considered a friend for a long time. and what makes it the worst is that there are no specific reasons as to why the gap in the friendship developed. simply having nothing to say or not willing to be as intimate in conversation anymore will most definitely kill a friendship.

i feel like this has happened in my life many times, not because i purposely wanted to lose friends, but because it takes two enthusiastic persons to make a friendship work. i can tell that i care about someone, consciously or subconsciously, because there is always some degree of anticipation and excitement i feel before or during an encounter with a friend. when this feeling ceases to exist with another person, or even worse, if this feeling turns to dread and awkwardness, that is when you know that a friendship has officially been nullified.

i guess if i was the sentimental sap i was just a few years ago, i'd look back on all the lost friendships and lament. but now that i'm a cynical loner, it's a lot easier to shrug off the "losses" and even welcome the possibility that more friends may soon become non-friends.

but now it's just a game of semantics. what are "friends?" what are "acquaintances?" what is a "good" friend as opposed to just a "regular" friend? see how stupid it gets?

that's why pondering such large and general topics is a definite waste of time. but this was something that was on my mind, and i do regret that friends aren't always forever.

8-3-03
i've never liked losing, but over the course of my life, i've had my share of being on the losing side.

fourth grade, pop warner football: as the starting running back in my first year playing the sport, my team went 2-7.

fourth grade, little league baseball: i was on a team with these rich jewish kids and despite our terrible regular season record, we somehow made it to the championship game; we lost that one.

seventh grade, biddy basketball: my team had an undefeated regular season record, but on my birthday, we were eliminated in the semifinal playoff game - i believe i peaked in my basketball skills at this age.

high school, football: as a starting running back on all levels - freshman, jv, and varsity - only my jv stint yielded a non-losing record; the rest of the time, my team compiled a pitiful 8-19 record.

today, HBA: my blue team had the best regular season record in the league but were swept by 4th place gray team in the semifinal.

losing today was tough, especially because i had high hopes for my blue team and it totally deflated my emotions, which had been riding high from having completed a very nice website for the HBA playoffs and from the feeling of satisfaction i got when looking back on a successful regular season.

but unlike my other losing experiences, where the opposing side usually had nameless faces and there were adult coaches ready to teach a "lesson," the HBA loss presents me with a different situation.

rather than go into what the HBA is and what role i've had in it, i just want to make a remark about the team that defeated my team.

as a player on the blue team, i'm disheartened by our loss, but as a fan of any dramatic sports story, i am partially intrigued and excited by gray team's sudden success. many people wrote the gray team off and predicted them to lose to red in the qualifier series. somehow, gray was able to contain doc healey, HBA's best player, and roll off two wins. against blue, they looked like they couldn't miss a shot and cruised their way to three wins. in what looks to be a cinderella story, i'm looking forward to the final week of HBA, where gray will take on white for the HBA championship.

i know that for many people who are not familiar with the league and looking in from the outside, it might seem silly that a bunch of these predominantly asian, college-age guys are so gung-ho about playing basketball at the park on sundays. i mean, who the hell would take park basketball statistics so seriously? well, part of the HBA allure may be the fun stats and the set teams named after their respective color t-shirts, but what makes the HBA work is embodied most in the gray team.

while they might not be the closest friends, the members of the gray team are all nice guys. led by their team leader andy ni, the nicest person i've known in my life, they never engage in any trash-talking and they take losses with great sportsmanship and poise, never blaming each other. although their team struggled in the regular season, they were able to turn it up in the playoffs and truly show their team spirit. i gave each team five players at the beginning of the season, but most teams have had no more than four players show up each week. gray, however, has had its five players show up consistently throughout the season. basketball skills aside, i think that sort of dedication helped them the most in the end.

great enthusiasm for both the sport and the league, support for each other at all times, and an unselfish team-first approach to playing the game has been their formula for success. andy ni showed that he could play at a superstar level today, but what was more impressive was that his teammates stood by him and complemented his game the entire way.

am i trying to justify blue team's loss by glorifying the success of gray? no. i believe blue could have won, but we played poorly and did not perform well.

the loss to gray was tough, but what may have been a loss for gray may actually turn out to be a victory for the entire league. as self-appointed "commissioner" of HBA, i'd be proud to have a good-natured, team-oriented group like gray be the champs.

9-2-03
They hadn't spoken to each other since that time at her home, when he finally woke up, a bit hung over, laying awkwardly on her couch. He sluggishly stood up and found his way to his car, which he drove home in a drowsy, nauseous state. When he came home, he promptly fell alseep on his own bed and did not wake up for a long time.

For reasons unexplained, the two ceased talking to each other - online and on the phone. Two months quickly passed by and they found themselves back at school.

He liked his dorm room. It wasn't the nicest room, but it was a single and a space that he could dictate any way he wanted. He often heard from his peers that the green tiles of this particular dorm were "gross" and detestable, but he didn't mind the color and refused to buy a carpet for the room. His view was the back of another building with little or no sunlight for most of the day. He had already heard that a few people on his floor moved out to another floor because of the "depressing" view. "Wussies," he thought.

It was the night before the first day of classes and he felt a bit restless. The last few days had gone by very quickly with the drinking, the clubbing, and the gazing of first year students. His friends were all busy figuring out their schedules or finding ways to sell last year's books. As he sat in front of his computer, he felt a bit restless. He did his laundry and looked over his schedule again to pass the time, but he felt a feeling of discomfort brewing in his stomach.

It was no surprise that she was the reason for the unsettled feeling. He had not seen her yet on campus and they had still not talked since that time. He looked her up on the online directory and acknowledged her dorm room number and extension. He looked in the direction of his phone situated on the dresser next to his bed, but he turned his head back to the computer screen and decided an e-mail would be the best way to make contact. "She's probably not in her room anyways," he told himself.

He opened up his Outlook and began to write.

Hey.

It's been a while since we talked. How have you been? How was the rest of your summer?

If you're wondering, I've had a pretty good summer. I just continued to work at school for the alumni magazine (did you read the Bookshelf section by any chance?) and I also did some web projects for a few places. I guess I should've saved up more, but I did buy myself a sweet little laptop computer.

Remember that basketball league I told you about with me and my friends from home? That went pretty well. We played every Sunday and had a great time. We even made an elaborate website for it and spent the last week making this really long video for it. It's listed on my profile, if you're curious about it.

I've actually been in school a bit longer than you, so I've been used to the away-from-home life again. Being an RA in an upperclass dorm has been pretty easy, although it feels like everyone on my floor smokes up. The training was long, but I made some cool friends, so it was enjoyable overall. I've just spent the past week doing stuff for my club. I think it's going to be a great year for us - we have a bunch of events already lined up for September.

I think it's kinda weird how we just stopped talking though. I know it's partly my fault because I didn't make an effort to call or IM you, but I dunno - I guess we're both guilty. Was it because of that night at your house? I know I just sorta left without saying anything, but you were asleep, so I didn't want to wake you. And I know I was a bit disappointed about the whole hook-up thing, but I thought the only reason you didn't want to hook-up was so we could remain good friends. Now, we barely know what's going on in each others' lives and we don't even talk anymore. I dunno - hook-up or no hook-up, that's even more disheartening for me.

It's a new school year and I just hope we can at least start talking again.

On a lighter note, the new John Mayer CD is coming out in just a week. I preordered mine online already. Did you end up going to his concert in August? I remember you said you might go to that. I hope his second album is just as good as the first one.

You like Dashboard too, right? Do you know that song - So Long, Sweet Summer? I'm listening to that right now actually. It's a pretty sad song. It's been the quickest summer I've ever had and probably the best in my life so far in terms of productivity and lots of fun, memorable times. Kinda wish we hung out more though, but I guess we have school to figure that out. So gimme a ring or write back - looking forward to it. Talk to you soon, hopefully.

He looked at the clock and saw that it was already 3am. He clicked on the Send button and looked around his room, contemplating on whether or not to go to bed. "Ten o'clock class. Better get some sleep," he told himself. He turned off the monitor and the lights, hopped into bed, and thought about how his summer had finally ended.