Last night was a good night at the library. I didn't have much work, so I started early and finished my things at around 2am, a few hours earlier than usual. Not yet tired enough to sleep, I decided to treat myself to some television. My suitemates and I pay $50 a month for Time Warner's outrageously expensive cable service, which is made worse because they allow only my room to have the cable box. At the inconvenience of others, I sat back in my bed and took command of the remote.
I turned to ESPN like any other male in the 18-25 demographic and saw that Barry Bonds was finally living it up in the playoffs. I turned to HBO, HBO2, and my four other HBO channels that come with the ripoff cable service. No good movies were on, so I kept surfing. I remembered back in middle school, when my pubescent peers talked about the "porno" on Showtime late at night. My family never subscribed to the premium channels, so I was never exposed to such guilty pleasures, but some of my more privileged friends told me about stealthy 3am treks to the living room and the action they got to witness. Heck, I'm 19 and I just finished reading a hundred pages of Augustine - I needed a porno break.
What I didn't realize was that the last week or so had changed my entire perception of moving pictures. That is, my binge-reading of film studies books for class had altered the way I enjoyed the medium of moving pictures - in this case, television. I turned to Showtime to finally see what the late night fuss was all about. A short, 30-minute program called "Women's Passions" was about to air, and this suited me perfectly because I wanted to sleep no later than 3am.
I thought the plot line was creative - for a softcore porno show. It was about this woman, probably in her early to mid-thirties, complaining to her friends about wanting to fulfill her carnal desires and be "free." She felt a little restricted in the sexual realm with her husband, who was "the same" each time. Suddenly, a black genie appeared and gave her an erotic wish: for one day, you can get with anyone you want (because everyone will want you) and you don't have to worry about anything - disease, ethics, emotional backlash, etc. - and the person will forget everything instanteously. I thought this was a fairly good plot line for a porno program and continued to watch.
After doing the milk man, her female friend, her psychiatrist, her sister's husband, and a threesome with her superiors, she is left dissatisfied and finds greatest comfort with her husband. Well, what may sound like a good variety and a whole lot of sex surely wasn't. I was sadly disappointed at the cutting and camera work of the program. The woman was attractive, but they never gave her a good angle to work with. Sure, she was topless a few times, but they overused the close-up and stringed together a series of irrelevant scenes that took out all the eroticism of the scene. The sex scenes looked very corny, and the woman should not have opened her mouth to speak because it felt as if she was trying too hard to be sexy. She tries to act "naughty" with the uptight, family-man-like psychiatrist by asking him a series of provocative questions, but because the setting of the scene is in a bright white room with little furniture, there was no realistic feel to it, and this disparity made the sequence very unattractive.
The show finished with an attempt to deliver the message that perhaps the best sex is with the one you love. I guess the message is somewhat acceptable, but I was left feeling like I could have made a better porno movie. Some improvements I would have made? Less close-ups and less intraframe cuts in a sex sequence for better continuity, less use of bright colors in the background to reduce the cheap-feeling and to focus more on the characters, and lastly, maybe some better dialogue, especially with the psychiatrist. Oh, and less activity with all the clothes on - it looks silly watching people fondle each other with all their clothes on.
I never knew I'd ever watch a porno show in such a critical manner. It was a far cry from the days in elementary school, when the neighboord kids would gather around the computer screen, staring oogly-eyed and wondering what the hell the people were doing. Well, now I think I know a little too much.
