So I thought about it for really long. It definitely was a serious matter and I considered all the consequences. I thought about everyone else and I also thought about myself. It's not that I was troubled by depression or anything. Nor was it any kind of pressure or stress mounting up. And please don't say it was because I was "lonely" or anything. You're going to think it sounds stupid, but I did it because I wanted to see if I could. I wanted to find out if I had what it took to do it. I know most of the time you only get one shot at it, and if it works, then there's no going back. I thought about all the ways to do it, too. You know, both the classical stuff and even some innovative stuff. You should've seen the stuff I devised and wrote down. But they're all useless now. I picked the one that was the most difficult to do because it would mean that I overcame an even greater challenge. Please don't say I did it for vanity. Please don't say I was being arrogant. I had to do it. I had to see if inside of me, I had the courage and the will power to pull off something like this. I probably found out about it for just as long as it took me to reach the end and hopefully I'll have savored that moment when I would've known that I overcame all fears to pull it off. Don't be sad and don't give me any pity. And tell my parents that if I didn't live on the ninth floor, I probably would've gotten the idea to do the same thing anyways. Well, goodbye and don't forget about me too quickly.
