good guys always win

good guys always win

chapter 1

(7.23.02)
Yeah, we were nerds. Not in that loser-way that you see in the movies with the tight pants, thick framed glasses, and pocket protector, but in our own way, we were nerds. We loved good grades. Nothing made our day complete like a series of good test scores or an impressive report card. We loved it when the red number showed triple-digits on top of a test, and we loved it when the sound of the column on a report card was the same sound we made when the dentist told us to open our mouths. It was a great feeling to know that the evaluation of our educational progress was superb, above-average, and remarkable. And how did we go about achieving such scores? How did we maintain our excellence? How did we manage to "pull off" such feats? Like I said, we were nerds.

"Black people exist in this world for sports and singing, yellow people exist so they can make all the electronics, and white people are here to rule the world," Crof explained to me while Martinez conducted his usual regurgitation of Bailey at the chalkboard.

"True," I answered, "We do make nice televisions and cool video games." I then proceeded to leaf through my history book and observe that white people did rule the world. An Uncle Tom attitude? Nah - I was merely commenting on a badly stereotyped interpretation of world affairs; plus, would anyone just hand out prestigous Model UN awards to Crof for not knowing what he was talking about?

The irony was that Crof, along with some other friends of mine, depended on me for knowledge of United States history. Part Anglo-Saxon, some Teutonic, and even some Jewish (yea, yea it's a FAITH), Crof was the All-American, Abercrombie boy. "Doesn't he look like he can belong on an Abercrombie ad?" some girl told me once. And it cracked me up to see Crof take pride in his real estate in class.

"Pete, I'm right here behind you man. Just make it visible, but not too obvious," Crof would remind me before the weekly quiz. Populist... William Jennings Bryan... Sam Gompers... silver... the answers would easily fill up my quiz and then - slide - it would be conveniently placed at the corner of my desk for verification. Of course, Crof never disputed, and the process was smooth. Other beneficiaries included Smuj, who sat behind Crof, and Fat Boy, who sat next to Smuj. A sampling: Peter - 98, Crof - 94, Smuj - 92, Fat Boy - 92; rest of class average: 86.

"When I become President of the United States," Crof told me in a confident manner, "I'll give you a cabinet spot or something."

On several occassions, I caught the girl who sat next to me peek, or rather, stare, at my history answers. It was a funny sight, and I chuckled to myself. Not only was I helping my friends, I was helping people left and right - well, at least to the right. When it comes to education, or almost any life situation, it feels much better to be the one with the answers. You don't have to beg, you don't have to be nervous, and you don't need to be devious. We loved having the answers. When one of us had the answers, he was the big cat of the moment. Head, Wally, Warren, Fanman, Fat Boy, Ligi - they all knew, too: 'twas better to give than to receive.